The Way Things Should Have Been
by Dr.E. Vance
Summary: The crew is acting a little strange these days. . . could it be the stress? Or are some hidden emotions crawling to get out? REVISED!
1. Slimey Aliens

The Way Things Should Have Been

By Dr.E. Vance

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the characters and such from Deep Space Nine. Never ever. EVER! Just me having fun. I revised this so it should be better and easier to read. I'm sorry the chapters are so short. This was my first fanfiction!**

**Chapter 1**

**Slimy Aliens**

"Captain we're being hailed!" Major Kira turned to Captain Sisko.

"And. . .?"

"Should we answer them?" Sisko paused. How come he never gets to hail whoever is out there? It was SO not FAIR!

"Oh, fine. What do they want?" Sisko asked as he took out a pair of pom-poms and waved them wildly around. Major Kira glimpsed at Sisko.

"Help." Sisko stood on a chair and continued to wave the pom-poms.

"When do they want it?" Everyone had started to stare in amazement.

"NOW, would be a good time." They eventually pulled the ship in and Sisko, O'Brien, and Dax went down to greet their visitors. They were aliens with green, squashed faces and floppy noses. They also seemed to be covered in a slimy coating.

"Eeewwww. . ." said Dax.

"Gross, yuck" spit Sisko.

"I think I'm going to be sick!" O'Brien ran off with his hand over his mouth. Dax laughed. An alien glared at the pair.

"We didn't come here to be insulted!" Sisko turned to Dax and winked.

"Really? Where do you usually go?" O'Brien came back laughing. Sisko tried to keep a straight face as he invited them to step into his office. When they got inside, Sisko sat down and put his feet up on his desk and left everyone standing around him. Dax moved behind Sisko's chair because that is where she usually stood. Sisko picked up his baseball and threw it behind him expecting Dax to catch it. Instead it broke through the window and flew away into space.

"DAX! You were supposed to catch that! Now I'll have replicate another one!" Sisko crossed his arms and pouted. Dax looked like she was thinking about something and then she spoke.

" But Benjamin, don't you have a closet FULL of baseballs?" Sisko continued to pout so Dax turned to the aliens.

"Why do you need our help?" She asked as she put a hand on Sisko's shoulder for no apparent reason.

"Something is growing in our ship and we need help to get it out. It is messing up our systems." Sisko finally spoke as he brushed Dax's hand away.

"Eeewwww . . . don't TOUCH me!" he whined. "Chief O'Brien can help you." O'Brien raised his hand and motioned for the aliens to follow him. When they left, Sisko sighed a sigh of relief.

"I thought they would NEVER leave!" Dax smiled.


	2. Spilled Milk

**Chapter 2**

**Spilled milk**

Chief O'Brien walked into Dr. Bashir's office. ". . . dancing queen! Young and sweet, only 17. . . " Dr Bashir was singing. O'Brien raised hiseyebrows.

"Are you sure those are the right words?"

"No. So what can I do for you old chum?" O'Brien showed him a piece of plant that was growing in the alien's ship. Bashir was just about to make a witty comment when a Starfleet officer walked in and interrupted him.

"I have an extremely bad headache." Bashir looked up.

"So? It's not my problem is it?" The officer looked annoyed.

"Well. . . I um. . . no. . . I. . . "

"That's what I thought! Now leave my sight and NEVER come back!" He pointed at the door and the officer stalked off. "Now," Bashir turned his attention back to O'Brien. "What did you want me to do?"

"Scan this and see what you make of it." O'Brien shoved the sample into Bashir's face. Bashir examined it closely.

"I can tell you what it is right now without scanning it." O'Brien looked excited. He didn't know Bashir was THAT smart. "Well, what is it?"

"A dirty ugly weed." Bashir said triumphantly and sat back.

"That's good enough for me!" said O'Brien and walked out. Bashir turned to the replicator.

"A glass of milk, please." It gave him a glass of milk and when Bashir put the glass on his desk he knocked into it and it spilled. Bashir started to cry.

(----------------------------------------------------------------)

"It's no use you know." Quark said pouring Odo a drink. " Drink?" he offered. Odo stared at it.

"I don't drink." Quark rolled his eyes and started to drink it himself. A customer finished his drink and paid Quark.

". . . six dollars! Awesome!" He started to dance around and turned on music. It was a very happy tune. Bashir walked in wiping his tears away. He stopped and smiled.

"I love this song!"

Dax walked in. "Me too! Hey,Julian want to dance?" Dax held out her hands. Bashir agreed and they started to dance. When they finished they ordered drinks and sat down at a table. Odo stared after them.

" I wish I could dance." Quark winked.

" Come to my quarters and I can teach you. They can be lessons. But of course you'd have to pay me."

" How much a lesson?" Quark thought for a moment.

" 3 bars of latinum." Odo stood up and shook Quark's hand.

" It's a deal I'll meet you in 3 hours!" Odo left to get ready. Bashir and Dax finished their drinks and paid Quark. Quark danced.


	3. Odo's First Lesson

**Chapter 3**

**Odo's first, and final, lesson**

Odo wandered into Quark's quarters. Every piece of furniture was moved to make a big space on the floor. Odo called out.

" Hello? Is there anyone here?" Quark peeked out from behind a door.

"No. Nobody's here." He laughed. Odo turned towards the door.

" Okay," he sighed. " I'll go then." And he started to leave. Quark jumped out from behind the door.

" Where are you going?" Odo paused and turned around.

" Nobody was here a minute ago. How did you get in here without using the door?"

" Odo, it was a joke." Odo just stared looking confused. Quark waved his hand.

"Oh, forget it. Are you ready to learn how to dance?" Quark jumped up and down.

" No." said Odo. Quark stopped jumping.

" Your not? Why? You were supposed to come here prepared.. . . what are you doing?" Odo grabbed Quark and started to tango. Quark pulled away.

"I read all about dancing!"

" In three hours?"

" Yes."

" then why did you come here?"

" So I could tell you that." Odo turned to the door and started to leave.

" You still have to pay me for this lesson!" Odo took out three gold bars and handed them to Quark and left. Quark looked at the money in his hands.

"Awesome!" he yelled. Quark danced.

Odo walked down the empty hallways back to his office. He was almost at the door when O'Brien called Odo over. O'Brien explained that the captain had been looking for Odo and wanted to speak to him. Odo sighed and followed O'Brien. When they reached Sisko's office, O'Brien turned to Odo and patted him on the back.

" Good luck. He's angry." And left Odo to stand in front of the door. He looked through the glass door and saw and heard Sisko yelling at Dax about something. He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

" Ding - dong." Said Odo. He waited but there was no answer.

" Ding - dong." He said again this time a little louder but there was still no answer. Kira turned to Odo.

" You'll just have to walk in." She said. " He's not answering the door. Sisko's in quite a tizzy about the aliens. He's going on about how they won't leave Sisko alone and how they keep asking him about when their ship is going to be done." Odo nodded and opened the door.

"WHAT!" yelled Sisko as he turned to Odo. Dax handed Sisko a glass of water and motioned for Odo to step into a quieter part of the office. Dax closed the door behind him and ran a sweaty hand through her hair.

" I'm sorry about having to call you. You were probably in the middle of your dancing lesson."

" No, I wasn't. He's usually so calm about problems like this. What made him so angry?" Dax took a bottle out of her pocket and shook it.

" He forgot to take his pills. I've been trying to get him to take them but I can't get him to calm down enough."

" This happened 2 weeks ago! Sheesh, what are we going to do? Lock him in his room?" Dax shook her head and put the bottle away.

" We did that last time, remember? O'Brien didn't know so Sisko pulled his old sympathy trick on him and O'Brien let him out." Odo thought for a moment.

" Maybe we could. . ." Odo was cut short by a loud CRASH and Dax put her hand on her head.

" What's wrong?" asked Odo. Dax sighed.

" I knew he would start to throw his chair around! I knew it. Excuse me, Odo but you might have to leave." Odo put a hand on her shoulder.

" I understand." They both walked out and closed the door.

" DUCK!" yelled Dax.

" Where?" Odo looked around.


	4. Just Eating Worms

**Chapter 4**

**Just eating worms**

Bashir opened Sisko's door and laughed at the sight of Dax holding Sisko to his chair while Odo held a bag of ice to his head.

" Hey Dax!" said Julian. Dax looked up. Her hair was sticking up all over the place and she looked tired.

" Yes Julian? What can I do for you?"

" Would you like to join me for dinner tonight? We'll be just eating worms!"

" Can't you see I'm busy?"

" Doing what?"

" Doing this!"

" Which is what?"

" This!" Dax pointed at Sisko.

" Oh, so can you come?"

Dax rolled her eyes. " NO. I'm busy!"

" Doing what?" Dax couldn't take it anymore. She'd had enough. So she screamed.

Odo ran out the door.

Sisko screamed too.

Bashir clapped. Dax stopped and so did Sisko. Them out of the blue, Sisko said that he was tired and fell asleep in his chair.

Dax cheered.

Odo came back.

Bashir clapped again and when he was finished, he focused on Dax.

" So," he smiled. " Would you like to join me for dinner tonight? We'll be just eating worms!" Dax slapped him and left.

" Is that a yes?" Bashir called after her as he rubbed his cheek. He turned to Kira.

" So, would you like to. . . " But he didn't get to finish. Kira walked over to him and he cowered thinking that she was going to slap him as well. She didn't though and she smiled.

" I would LOVE to." Bashir straightened up. They agreed to meet in 2 hours and Bashir hopped away on a pogo stick that he had in his pocket. Kira looked after him and made sure he was gone.

" Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha!" she laughed and stopped when she noticed that everyone was staring at her.

Two hours later, Julian and Kira were sitting just eating worms when Dax called Kira. Kira took her cell phone out of her pocket.

" Hello? Dax?" answered Kira.

" I need you down at the lab this instant!" yelled Dax's voice on the other end. Kira sighed then said,

" Alright, I'm coming." And she hung up. Then Kira turned to Julian and sighed.

" I'm sorry. But we'll have to cut this meal short. Dax needs me." She got up to leave and started to walk away.

" WAIT!" Julian took the pogo stick out of his pocket and tried to hop over to her. Before he reached her, his pogo-stick hit a bump in the floor and he fell off. Julian hit his head on the floor with a loud THUMP. Kira turned around to see Julian on the floor rubbing his head.

" JULIAN!" she ran over to him and helped him up. " Are you alright?" Julian turned to her and stared looking confused.

" Who are you?" he asked and looked around. " Where am I?"


	5. Memory Loss

**Chapter 5**

**Memory Loss**

Kira dragged Julian to the lab. Dax opened the door at the sound of the doorbell. She looked from Julian to Kira.

" You weren't supposed to bring him with you."

" I know, we had a slight problem." Kira grabbed Julian's hand just as he was about to push a button.

" What kind of ''problem''?"

" Our good doctor Julian fell off his pogo-stick, hit his head, and lost his memory." Dax put her hand to her mouth and gasped. Julian went over to a control panel.

" Oooo. . . pushing buttons!" Kira grabbed his hand again.

" No, pushing buttons. SIT." She said as she pointed to a chair.

" NO!" shrieked Julian. " NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO . . . " Dax covered her ears.

" Maybe we should take him to the medical wing."

" Your probably right." Dax uncovered her ears for Julian had stopped shouting. They took him there and then contacted Sisko. He mumbled that he was coming. While they waited, Dax and Kira were busy. They had to stop Julian from pushing buttons. When Sisko eventually got down, Dax and Kira were hot and bothered.

" What do you want? I was napping. Oh. . . I have such a headache. . . " Sisko rubbed his head and sat in a chair. Then he turned to Julian.

" Hey doctor!" he said oblivious to the bewildered look on Julian's face. " Can you hand over some Asprin?" Julian looked around. He turned to Sisko.

" There's no doctor here!" Sisko laughed. " That's a good one. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" He looked around expecting everyone else to laugh with him but no one else was. He immediately shut-up. Kira and Dax looked at each other.

" Julian fell off his pogo-stick and lost his memory." Dax said. Sisko gasped and then laughed.

" Why don't you scan his brain and see what's wrong and hope we can fix it so I can get my Asprin!" So that's what they did.

" That's funny!" said Dax as she looked at the screen. Everyone laughed.

" What's so funny?" requested Sisko. Dax showed them that there was nothing wrong with Julian's brain and that there were two options.

" What are they?"

" Is was just about to tell you. Number one: the monitor's broken or number two: Julian's faking." The three glared at Julian who cleared his throat. He slowly stood and eyed the door.

" Heh, heh. Well, hmmm. . . I, a. . . you see. . ." Julian stammered as he moved to the door. Sisko, Dax and Kira pulled bats out of the closet. Julian opened the door. The three moved closer still.

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. . . " Julian screamed as Sisko, Dax, and Kira chased him down the hall.


	6. Lovers

**Chapter 6**

**Lovers**

Odo sat alone at a table staring into space. And when I say he was staring into space, he literally was. I mean like, out the window. He was thinking about his home world, again, when Kira sat down at the table.

" Hey, Odo. Odo. HELLO? Whoo hoo. . . earth to Odo. . ." Kira started waving her hand in front of his face. Odo jumped ten feet in the air and hit his head on the ceiling. Don't ask me how because the ceiling where they were was only eight feet up. Anyways, Kira smiled and laughed. Just as she was about to ask what he was thinking about, a man walked up to their table.

" Can I help you?" Kira asked.

" Don't you remember me? We had a wonderful time talking last night. Actually, I did most of the talking, but no worries. Who is this?" The man stared at Odo with disgust in his eyes.

" I am Odo, Chief of Security on DS9 and . . . " Kira grabbed Odo' s hand and smiled up at the man.

" . . . we are lovers. Right, baby?." The man's mouth hung open. He couldn't believe it. LOVERS? Kira laughed. " Can't you see the fire in his eyes when he looks at me?"

" Excuse me? Fire?"

" Yes. The fire. Can you see? Look in his eyes."

" I don't see any fire. "

" You don't?"

" Nope."

" No? Look again. " Kira stared as well.

Odo was getting uncomfortable. He squirmed in his chair trying to escape but it was no use. Kira was holding him down to tightly. Meanwhile, Kira and the man were still talking.

" Are you absolutely sure you can not see the fire."

" I'm telling you. I don't see it. "

" Geez." Kira leaned back in here chair and rolled her eyes. "Someone needs glasses."

Odo sighed. Now that they were done talking, maybe he could leave. But sadly, no, Kira was not quite finished with him yet.

" Well, it doesn't matter that there isn't any fire even though I was quite positive it was there. All that matters is that we love each other. Right my sweet baby darling Odo?" Before Odo could answer though, Kira grabbed his face and planted a BIG kiss on Odo. The man stared in horror and stalked away. Kira stopped kissing him and took her hand off of Odo's hand.

" Thanks. You really saved me there. That man sure was pretty ugly." Kira got out of her seat and left. Odo wanted to say something to her as she walked off, but by the time he thought of it, she was gone. Odo sighed and was about to start singing. And not because Kira kissed him, he just felt like singing. He opened his mouth but snapped it back closed. Did he really want to do that? Yes. Odo began to sing and while he was singing, Julian walked over to Odo to tell him that Dax needed him, but he jumped on the table with Odo and they sang, sang, sang. Now that was a sight to see.


	7. Ice Cream Sundaes

**Chapter 7**

**Ice Cream Sundaes**

Dax sat in the science lab drumming her fingers. She had been waiting for Odo for over an hour. She was growing impatient. Dax walked over to the replicator and ordered an ice-cream sundae. It was her fourth one and she was getting a stomachache. She couldn't resist, though, she LOVED ice cream sundaes. Dax grabbed a spoon and began to eat. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"ODO?" she cried as she jumped up. But when she had leapt up, her ice cream hit the floor with a loud PLOP. The doorbell rang again but all Dax could do was stare at the floor in horror. Did this really happen? It couldn't have! It did! No! Yes! No! Yes? "NOOOOOOOOOO. . . " she fell to her knees. It really did.

O'Brien couldn't wait any longer (everyone on DS9 was very impatient). He had rung the doorbell twice already but there was still no answer. When he opened the door though, he wished he hadn't. For there was Dax crawling on her hands and knees, licking the floor where her precious ice cream had fallen.

"Dax? What are you doing?" O'Brien could plainly see what she was doing, but thought it best to ask anyway. Dax looked up and smiled. She had vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and chocolate sauce dripping from her face. Her spoon was left abandoned on the floor next to her. "Why are you. . .?" He couldn't even finish what he was going to say.

Dax sat up on her heels and pushed hair out of her face. Dax caught her reflection in a mirror that had fallen to the ground. O'Brien had expected her to cry, but instead, she cracked up. After a few minutes, Dax tried to explain.

" You see, I had been waiting here for an hour for Odo and had just ordered my fourth sundae. . "

"Your FOURTH?"

" Don't interrupt. Anyway, I ordered my fourth sundae but when I heard the doorbell, I stood up too quickly and my ice cream fell over. I couldn't let it go to waste."

O'Brien stared hard at her. He couldn't believe this, but it was really happening. O'Brien wondered if she felt stupid.

"Do you feel stupid?" he asked. Dax did, actually.

"I do, actually." O'Brien told her not to worry about it and how everyone makes mistakes. Dax said she never made mistakes, she was perfect. At first O'Brien laughed but when he looked at her face, she was serious.

O'Brien handed her a cloth to wipe her face and she did. As they started to walk off together, Dax told O'Brien that she forgot something in the lab. She ran back and dipped her finger in the melting ice cream. Dax then licked of her finger and smiled.

She still loved ice cream sundaes.


	8. Holosuite 11

**Chapter 8**

**Holosuite 11**

Sisko and the rest of the crew were going to start a meeting. There was a problem though. Dax was missing.

" Does anyone know where Dax is? We really need to start. I need her to translate this alien language." Sisko whined. Julian looked up from his crossword puzzle.

" Can I try?" he asked.

" NO." answered Sisko. Sisko was getting impatient. He wanted Dax to come. "Alright. We need a volunteer to go find Dax." Everyone raised his or her hand. Except Odo. He didn't really care. Sisko thought and thought. Who would he send? Who could he trust? Who? Who? WHO?

" I choose you, O'Brien and Bashir!" Julian and O'Brien looked at each other and raced out the door.

" Huh," said Sisko," I wonder why they were so excited to leave." He shrugged. Julian and O'Brien split up to cover more distance. Also to get away from each other. O'Brien went to her quarters and the science lab. He thought maybe she would be eating ice cream sundaes and lost track of the time. He was wrong and could not find her anywhere. He went off to see if he could find Julian. Maybe he had some luck.

Julian had just walked into Quark's. He looked around to see if he could see and talk to Quark himself. Quark was walking out of Holosuite 11. Julian ran over to him.

" What were you doing in there? Do you know where Dax is?" Julian questioned Quark. Quark laughed.

" Dax is in Holosuite 11, and who-o boy, she's giving quite a performance." Quark walked away to help a customer. Julian raced up the stairs to the Holosuite. O'Brien walked into Quarks about the same time Julian was about to open the Holosuite door. O'Brien dashed after Julian.

" Hey Chief," said Julian, " Quark told me Dax was in here and that she gave quite a performance." " What could he mean by that?"

" I don't know. But we're about to find out." They opened the door.

Meanwhile, back in the meeting room, Sisko was reading the paper, and Kira and Odo had fallen asleep. All of a sudden, Sisko slammed his fist on the glass table centered in the middle of the room. The table broke in half, making Kira and Odo fall off their chairs and wake up.

" FIRE! IT BURNS!" Kira jolted up from her dream. Odo sat up and shook his head. Kira had yelled in his ear.

" I've had enough! They have been gone for an hour and I have had it! Where are they! If they do not show up with Dax in three minutes, I will personally march to wherever they are and. . . "

Just then, the door opened. Julian was first, O'Brien followed close behind, and after them was Dax in a knee-high silver glitter dress and matching high-heels. None of them said anything as they sat down in their chairs. They hadn't noticed the table was broken.

" Where was she?" Demanded Sisko. O'Brien and Julian looked at Dax and then at each other. Julian sighed and turned to Sisko.

" Holosuite 11," was all he said. Dax cleared her throat and the meeting began without further interruption.


	9. Why is the Enterprise Like Toilet Paper?

**Chapter 9**

**Why is the Enterprise like toilet paper?**

"Ding, dong." O'Brien rang the doorbell to Sisko's office. Sisko sighed. He tried to ignore it but he couldn't take it anymore. You see, O'Brien had been ringing it for over an hour. He was trying to tell Sisko a joke he heard Quark tell a customer. Actually, O'Brien had tried to tell everyone, but they didn't want to hear it. Sisko finally opened the door.

" Tell me the joke and make it quick!" said Sisko as O'Brien ran in. Sisko closed the door. Dax and Kira stood outside trying to hear in. They heard O'Brien mummer something. Then there was silence. They heard, as Dax put it, Sisko's powerful and loud voice ask to hear it again. O'Brien murmured it again. There was yet another minute of silence. Then out of the blue, Sisko's thunderous laugh, making Dax and Kira jump. O'Brien walked out and Dax and Kira followed him.

" Tell us the joke." Asked Dax and Kira agreed.

" Okay... " O'Brien pulled the two eager listeners into a quiet corner. Just as he was about to say it, Julian popped up.

" I want to hear the joke, too!" Julian's cheerful disposition made everyone want to gag.

" How did you know I was going to tell it?" asked O'Brien.

" I heard through the grape vine. . ." sang Julian. O'Brien and Kira rolled their eyes. Dax laughed. O'Brien sighed, made sure no one else was coming and told them. Dax cracked up. Kira gasped first and them giggled, a lot. Julian fell over he was laughing so hard.

" Geez, it wasn't that funny!" said Kira.

" yes. It. Was." Julian managed to gasp out between laughs.

" Yeah, whatever." Dax walked away. After that, O'Brien told all his closest friends. The only person he told who laughed harder than Julian was, believe it or not, Odo. The next day, Sisko called O'Brien into his office. He had an idea and planned to tell O'Brien.

" I have an idea that I plan to tell you. I think you should come over the intercom and tell everyone the joke. We all need a good laugh. Go ahead." A few minutes later, O'Brien's proud voice arose.

"_Friends, I want to tell you a joke and it goes a little something like this. ._ . _why is the Enterprise like toilet paper?_" O'Brien was silent a moment as if he was waiting for an answer. "_Give up? Because. . ." _


	10. Bok Choy

**Chapter 10**

**Bok Choy**

Quark was humming in his bar. This was because he was having a good day. He was giving out good advice, he had paying customers, people were using the Holosuites, especially Holosuite 11, and did he mention that he had paying customers? People were losing at all the gambling games and Quark was saving his money. He felt great.

But not for long. You see, an alien ship had just arrived. The aliens would come into Quark's Bar, order drinks and cause chaos. But the unusual thing about this occurrence would be that no one would believe Quark when he told him or her the alien's name. Here is how it is all going to play out. . .

"Sisko, " said Kira. " an alien ship has just arrived and is requesting permission to land."

" Let them in. Deck 59 is open." Kira let them in like she was told to. Later, the aliens walked into Quarks Bar to have a simple drink. Spying new customers, Quark quickly served the person sitting in front of him and ran to welcome the new comers.

" Come in, come in! Find yourself a seat. Can I get you anything? Drinks? Food?" One alien that seemed to be the leader turned to Quark.

" We don't need your help, little parasite. " said the alien as he and his gang pushed Quark aside.

" Well, there goes my good day. Down the drain." Mumbled Quark as he went to fetch the aliens drinks. The aliens chose a large table in the corner of the room that was reserved for a dinner party that was to start in about twenty minutes. Quark sighed and marched over to the table carrying a tray full of drinks. The leader looked up at Quark with his fierce red eyes.

" We didn't order drinks!" yelled the alien, whose name was Bok Choy because that is what it said on his nametag. At first Quark couldn't believe it. Wasn't bok choy a human food? Was this alien a vegetable or whatever bok choy was? Then he remembered the drinks and put them down on the table.

" I told you that we didn't order drinks! " Bok Choy yelled again as he got up out of his seat to try to intimidate Quark. Which didn't work because Quark wasn't afraid of anything. Well, he was but he just didn't like to show it.

" Well, good thing there not for you then, huh!" said Quark, putting his hands on his hips. He hoped that would change Bok Choy's mind about trying to scare Quark. It either worked or the alien saw that it wasn't working because he sat down. Quark picked up the tray and walked off. He couldn't believe it! What attitudes! Quark served the customers who really ordered the drinks and then walked back to help new customers. A few minutes later, though, Bok Choy and his groupies, as Quark called them later on, wanted to order drinks but Quark was busy with other customers.

" This is not acceptable! Do you know who I am, little man!" yelled Bok Choy as he stood up and pushed his way towards Quark.

" Yeah, I know who you are." Shot back Quark. " You are some weird alien who happens to have the same name as a humanoid vegetable. That's who you are!" " AAAARRRGGGGGGG!. . ." Bok Choy screamed and slammed his fist into Quark's face. Quark fell while Bok Choy and his groupies ran away.

Quark woke up with the face of Julian staring over him.

" AAAAAA!" Quark and Julian screamed at the same time. Quark sat up. " My head is killing me!" Quark complained. " Here take this. It should go away in a matter of seconds." Quark took the pill and Julian was right. Five minutes later, Odo walked in. Quark sank back on the bed.

" I think my headache's coming back." Quark moaned. Odo made Quark tell the whole story. Odo and Julian believed everything except the name of the alien.

" Bok Choy? I ate that with Dax last night for dinner." Quark kept trying to convince them that that was his name.

" What were the names of his "groupies" ?" asked Odo.

" Umm. . . " said Quark. " Eggplant, Lima Bean, Broccoli . . . "

" I give up!" sighed Odo as he walked out. Quark sighed as well and closed his eyes. What a crappy day.


	11. Weyoun

**Chapter 11**

**Weyoun**

" Captain! There's a ship coming out of your. . . I mean the wormhole." Kira called to Sisko. Sisko came out of his office holding his morning coffee. He peered outside and there was indeed a ship coming out of his. . . I mean the wormhole.

" What does it want?" asked Sisko.

" Why don't you ask whoever's on the ship. " suggested Kira. Sisko picked up the phone and put it on speakerphone. Kira gave him the number and he dialed.

" Yes? " said a mysterious voice on the other end.

" What do you want?" asked Sisko. Kira slapped her forehead and sighed.

" Well, " responded the voice. " Actually I was just passing by on my way to Cardassia, but now that you mention it, I think it might be nice to stop and stretch my legs a little. " Sisko was quiet for a moment.

" How many legs do you have, exactly?" Sisko questioned.

" Excuse me? " said the voice.

" I asked you 'how many legs do you have'?"

" Two ? "

" Arms? "

" Two? "

" Eyes? "

" Two. . . why are you. . ."

" How about ears. . . " Sisko was interrupted by Kira.

" What is your name ? " she requested Kira.

" Weyoun. "

" Very interesting. Docking- Bay- 6- is- open-you-can-land-your-ship- there-it-was-nice-speaking-to-you-bye! " Kira said very fast and hung up. Sisko pouted and told Kira that it was very rude to interrupt a Captain when he was talking to someone.

" Yeah, yeah, whatever." Said Kira.

(-----------------------------------------------------------)

" Tsk. " Weyoun leaned back in his chair. " and to think I thought Ferengi were strange. Well you learn something new everyday, I assume. Now which docking bay was it? Oh yes, 6. I think. Hm. What a strange fellow that man was." Weyoun landed his ship and as he got up, he tripped on something on the floor and landed flat on his face.

" Well, whatdda know. I didn't know that was how the floor was designed. How horrid. That must be fixed right away. If it weren't for myweak eyesight, I would have noticed it before. Oh, well. I better be off to meet that strange fellow I talked to earlier. " Weyoun talked to himself as he got up and opened the door.

" Greetings! " Sisko, accompanied by Julian and Dax, welcomed Weyoun on board. Weyoun went to shake Sisko's hand but didn't see the step in front of him and tripped on it falling, again, right on his face. Julian cringed and put his fingers to his lips and tried not to laugh. Sisko began laughing. Not at the fact that he fell, but that so many people did that when they first came onto the station, as he explained to Weyoun later on. Weyoun began pushing himself up and Dax ran over to help him.

" You are Sisko are you not?" he turned to Sisko and smiled. " I love the flooring. Where did you get it. Oh, but I'm getting off topic. Hello, hello, hello everyone. Now that we've said our hellos we can get down to business."

" Business?" asked Sisko, puzzled. Business? Sisko thought all he wanted was a place to stay for a little. Weyoun closed his eyes, frustrated with Sisko. _Why did I agree to come aboard? This man has no sense. What a fool. Oh well, I'm here now. Now if this trill would just let go of me everything would be great_, Weyoun thought to himself. As soon as Weyoun opened his eyes, Dax let go of his arm. Weyoun turned startled to Dax. He grabbed her elbow and stared into her eyes.

" Can you read minds?" he asked her suddenly.

" Um, no. Why?" a confused Dax turned to Sisko and Julian with a questioning eye. Weyoun stared at her some more frowning. Then he smiled.

" No reason. Just curious. " Weyoun knew when to explain himself and now wasn't one of those times. As he was about to tell Sisko what "business" he wanted to talk about, Odo came walking down the hall. Odo turned to Sisko paying no attention to the stranger.

" Sir, we. . . can I help you?" said Odo and flipped around to look at Weyoun. Weyoun's blue eyes were sparkling and he was grinning.

" Oh. . . my. If I knew there was a. . . a founder on board. . ." Weyoun bowed down and stood up quickly. " We must be formally introduced. I am Weyoun, clone number. . . now let me think. . . ah, yes, clone number 2, member of the Dominion." Weyoun stretched out a hand to shake Odo's. Odo did not extend his out, though, so Weyoun quickly retracted his hand.

" I see you'd rather not then. I understand. " Weyoun bowed again. " I'm so sorry to interrupt. Please continue. I'm sure one of your delightful crew members would show me a place I could stay. " He turned to Dax and Julian and smiled. He shook their hands and smiled again.

" So pleasant to meet you both. Shall we walk and leave the founder and Sisko to talk? " As they walked off you could just hear Weyoun ask Dax and Julian,

" Really, where did you get this flooring? I've been looking for a new floor. . . "

(------------------------------------------------------)

A half an hour later, Sisko walked into the war room, which was now called the "meeting room" because, as Dax told Weyoun earlier, war is such a horrible thing to think about. He looked to the table and saw, and heard, Dax and Julian laughing very hard. Weyoun, though, was sitting with a puzzled expression on his face and not even a hint of a smile anywhere.

"Oh, hi Ben, "Dax turned to Sisko. "I just told Julian and Weyoun the joke O'Brien told everyone a while ago. And can you believe it; Julian and I still find it hilarious. "Dax, Julian, and Sisko faced Weyoun and noticed he wasn't laughing or even smiling.

"I find no humor in that so-called "joke." "Weyoun paused and glanced at the three. "But if you want to hear a joke that will make you laugh so hard your stomach aches, I suggest you listen to this . . ."

(---------------------------------------------------------)

". . . I didn't say torture, I said torment!" Weyoun could contain himself no longer and as he gasped out the end of the joke, he exploded with laughter. He nearly fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard. Dax, Julian, and Sisko just stared. Finally Weyoun managed to put himself together and sat up. Kira opened the door and walked in. She took on look at Weyoun and raised an eyebrow. She turned to Sisko.

"Is he okay? He looks like any minute he might explode." Kira glanced back at Weyoun and shook her head. Weyoun could stand it no longer. He looked at everyone and exploded, again , with more laughter. This time he really did fall off his chair. Julian started laughing because Weyoun was being so funny. Dax laughed because Julian was, Sisko laughed because Dax was, and Kira began laughing as well because Sisko was.

O'Brien opened the door to the "meeting room", took one look at the chaos inside, closed to door, shook his head to clear his head and took a deep breath. He opened the door again and stepped inside.


End file.
